A fictional emergency experience from Wienerdog Stampede. Not real public-safety information.
DACMR / INFORMATION CENTER

DEPARTMENT OF ANIMAL CONTROL & MUNICIPAL RESPONSE

WIENER EMERGENCY
INFORMATION CENTER

Multiple districts are experiencing coordinated or apparently coordinated dachshund activity. Residents are advised to remain calm, secure accessible food and avoid interfering with municipal containment operations.

DO NOT APPROACH THE DACHSHUNDS.
ESTIMATED ACTIVE HERD847
AFFECTED DISTRICTS6
CONTAINMENT ZONES14
CONTAINMENT STATUSDEGRADED

Fictional scenario values. Estimates are subject to change without notice due to movement, recruitment and Kevin.

VIEW INCIDENT MAP CURRENT DIRECTIVES REPORT A SIGHTING

THE SITUATION REMAINS FLUID.

Municipal authorities continue coordinated containment operations across all affected districts. Residents should not interpret visible increases in dachshund activity as evidence that containment has failed.

CONTAINMENT OPERATIONS ACTIVE
PRIORITY FILE

SUBJECT: KEVIN

Do not follow Kevin.

CURRENT RESULTS: INCONCLUSIVE

OPERATION SHORT LEASH

Contain, separate and safely relocate active Stampede groups.

PUBLIC INFORMATION

Preparedness library

Prepared homes create fewer opportunities.

Business advisory

If you sell food, they already know.

Official briefings

The situation remains under investigation.

Public reaction

Everyone has an opinion about the dogs.

UNAUTHORIZED MATERIALS SEIZED

Possession of these items is not prohibited. The Department simply questions the judgment involved.

INSPECT THE EVIDENCE
Concept imagery of containment failure and public adaptation
Concept art / previsualization

CONTAINMENT HAS FAILED.

Residents, businesses and municipal systems are advised to adapt.

THE CITY HAS LEARNED NOTHING.

DISCOVER WIENERDOG STAMPEDE